Surrogates Deserve the Compensation They Receive

This article originally appeared on: http://offbeathome.com/surrogacy-part-two/

People also often want to know if I think it will be hard to “give the baby up.” In short: no. Not at all. Because I’m not giving it up — I’m simply giving it BACK. The baby is not mine, it was never mined and I don’t think of it that way. The hands-down best moment in this whole journey will be giving birth and watching my IPs become a family. That’s what my goal was in the first place and I won’t be sad about that, I will be overjoyed to have experienced it.

While I welcome most questions from strangers, the single one I absolutely cannot stand is, “WOW, I bet you get paid surrogacy money, huh? How much is it?” Not only is this incredibly rude (do you go around asking anyone else their salary?) but it also is so far away from the true reason most women do surrogacy.

Yes, we are compensated. We deserve every bit of that compensation, too. Even the easiest pregnancy is extremely hard work and is a risk. It is, essentially, a job that we are doing. No one else goes to work for free! But even more important to note is that surrogacy is not a “get rich quick” scheme.

It is a long, drawn-out process that requires a much more heartfelt commitment than just wanting the money. It can take years to complete and there is no guarantee you will ever actually get pregnant. So while the money is much appreciated, it is definitely not the driving force behind a Surrogate.

Really though, most people mean no offense and are truly interested and want to learn more. And for that, I get excited to share. The most awesome in my book are those who offer a simple “Wow, you are amazing. Thank you for doing that.”

Recently, there has been a buzz about surrogacy in the media thanks to Elton John, Nicole Kidman, and the many other celebrities who have been brave enough to share their stories. My hope is that we as a society are moving towards a better understanding of the process and an appreciation for the women who risk their lives and put everything on hold to help others.

I want people to know that Surrogates are really not much different from anyone else. We are not money-hungry, emotionless automatons. We are not attempting to fill an emotional void and we do not have secret desires to keep the baby. We are normal moms who love our kids and want others to experience that love too. We see a need and we fulfill it, and it ends up being one of the most rewarding experiences of our lives. Simple as that.