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A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding a Surrogate

When You Are Looking for a Surrogate Mother There Are Several Options but the Fastest and Safest is Through a Surrogacy Center

surrogate motherWell, you’ve been through all the testing and have tried various fertility interventions but you’re still not pregnant. The next step on your fertility journey is surrogacy and that means finding a surrogate mother to carry your child. You probably have a thousand questions like: “Can a family member or friend be a surrogate mother for us? How do we locate a surrogate if we can’t don’t know someone who can help us? How much is surrogate mother pay? What are the requirements for becoming surrogate mother? How much does the surrogate mother get paid?” Finding a surrogate, like anything else, starts with some research and being aware of what you need and want.

The first place most people think to look for a surrogate is among their family and friends, these people probably already know they are having fertility issues and want to help them. Of course, most people will “help” by donating money but often there is someone who will actually volunteer to be a surrogate. While this is an incredibly loving gesture, there are many reasons it often doesn’t work out. If you’re looking at traditional surrogacy, where the egg comes from the surrogate, it is recommended that the egg and sperm not both come from first degree relatives as this can cause genetic problems. For gestational surrogacy, however, this isn’t a problem because the surrogate is implanted with an embryo created from the intended father’s sperm and the intended mother’s egg or a donor egg. There is no biological connection to the surrogate. Before you start discussing surrogate mother pay with your friend or relative, you need to make sure their family is totally onboard with the idea. If the possible surrogate’s husband or boyfriend isn’t in agreement, or if it will make her other family obligations, like small children, difficult to deal with then the arrangement probably won’t work. When it comes right down to actually finding a surrogate, you may have to cast a wider net than your own circle.

Another option is to advertise online but the chances of you finding a qualified surrogate isn’t that good. Agencies screen potential surrogates very thoroughly, and do it all the time, so they have a system in place; something you as an individual would have to put together from scratch. Most women who are serious about being a surrogate, but aren’t doing it as a favor for a friend or relative, are going to sign up with an agency so they know their interest will be protected.

If you can’t find someone in your circle of friends and relatives who fulfills the requirements for becoming a surrogate mother then your next step is to talk to your fertility center. Many fertility centers either have in-house surrogacy agencies, or are partnered with an existing surrogacy agency, and have everything in place to make your surrogacy journey as smooth as possible. The agency should be able to answer your questions about how much does the surrogate mother get paid and what other expenses are you going to incur. Your fertility center already knows your history and what you are going to need as far as donor eggs or sperm on top of the services of a surrogate. Most agencies now use gestational surrogates because people want their child to be biologically related to both parents and if the mother can’t produce a viable egg then they want a donor egg that has similar characteristics to the mother. Locating a donor is much easier and quicker if she doesn’t have to look like either parent. It’s cleaner legally too since the surrogate has no biological relationship to the child. The agency already has everything in place for surrogate mother pay, trust accounts for various expenses and legal services so that the child, the surrogate and intended parents are all protected. Surrogacy may not be your first choice in fertility services, but aren’t we lucky that we live in a time when it is an option.


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