The Stages of Grief Experienced While Undergoing Infertility Treatment Can Help Prepare You for Life After Infertility and Adoption
Most people who go through an adoption have gone through infertility treatment first. This is not because adoption is a “second best” scenario when it comes to becoming parents but because humans are programmed to reproduce biologically.
The desire to reproduce ourselves is built into our genes, it’s there to keep the species going. Most people just assume they are going to be able to procreate the “regular” way because everybody around them is, and they don’t understand they can’t until they try. Unless the person has a medical condition that they know will prevent them from having biological children, most people assume they will make little copies of themselves just like everybody else does. Until they can’t, and then the first place most will turn is infertility treatment.
Sure, it’s a blow to the ego to admit that you need help doing something that everybody around you seems to be doing effortlessly, but it’s the result that counts. The result of most infertility treatment is a baby who is biologically related to the parents, just like all those other babies.
Infertility, however, isn’t just one blow to the ego, it can be a series of blows that will end in one of two ways. The most obvious way, of course, is biological parenthood. Yes, you went through a lot of testing and invasive medical procedures, not to mention your savings, but in the end, you were rewarded with a biological child to call your own. This is a win for infertility treatment and for your ego since you are now a parent. The depression and hiding from friends and family members with young children is over, you’re embracing parenthood and jumping into the fray.
The other way infertility treatment can end is with acceptance of the infertility so family building can proceed in another way. Often that other way is adoption, which makes sense. People going through infertility treatment want to become parents and there are orphaned children who need parents. Seems like it should be a